I wrote this two days ago for another journal prose assignment (our class gets one every week or so).
We listened to a song called October by U2, and that was supposed to be our inspiration. (It was like the last one I posted with L'oiseau as the inspiration. I like song prompts best.)
I was supposed to finish this quite a while ago, but I procrastinated so much.
In hindsight, it sounds pretty depressing after rereading, but I actually like this one (unlike a lot of my other pieces).
It was inspired by a bit of a rough patch I went through about a year and a bit ago, and looking back on it, it's pretty interesting to see how far I've come in just 13 months.
So here it is:
[RIGHT]October.[/RIGHT]
I remember… you were standing in the field, looking up into the smoky gray sky.
“Will it rain?†You asked.
The only tears you cried were of laughter, and happiness followed behind you like a cloud of balloons. Millions of colours painted your world, tinted with love and shaded with smiles.
The fallen leaves whispered songs to you in the chilly mornings and birds paused a moment to harmonize. Jack-o-lanterns that the neighbours set on their lawns too early for Halloween brought you so much joy.
That was before detention became suspension, bikes became cars, and lollipops turned into cigarettes. Do you remember when the only race issues were about who ran the fastest and the only drugs you knew were cough drops?
The only thing that hurt you was falling down on the playground, and goodbyes were only until tomorrow.
And you couldn’t wait to grow up.
Soon, the face in the mirror no longer smiled. You could only look and see flaws; eyes too small, face too round, hair that wouldn’t behave. Too fat, too short, too slow. Never good enough, no.
You wake up in the morning to the harsh blaring of a cell phone alarm, slam down on the snooze and pull the covers over your head instead of watching 7am cartoons.
You walk to the bus stop with your head down because you no longer bother to smile at strangers on the sidewalk.
The life you had looked forward to before, is it what you wanted?
At the end of the day, that life was as real as the beautiful, airbrushed, photoshopped pictures in glossy magazine. Growing up didn’t shine so brightly anymore.
Your parents don’t look at you like they used to.
What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just do as you’re told? Why can’t you be like you were before?
You didn’t have answers to their questions anymore.
How did it come to this, your best friend loneliness, your lover jealousy, and all you want is to sleep forever?
Minutes turn into days, months, years. You became I and I cried, and I fought, all for you. What I wouldn’t give to return to the days when you weren’t afraid.
The deep red scratches on your arms haven’t healed just yet.
But now, 15 Octobers behind me, I still don’t have the answers you wanted.
It’s been raining for a long time, you know. My umbrella couldn’t keep you dry.
It’s still raining… but I think I can see the sun behind the clouds better now.
---- I hate it when there's no indentations.